Wednesday, 12 August 2015


Till date there are stuffs that i thought were unreal , people can only think about them , imagine how would it be but never get to feel in their own life time , things that were portrayed in books with the help of author's illustration started happening , not butterflies but dragons started spreading fires in stomach , brain cells are getting too hammered to think what could be done next , sitting idle became a hobby , and none of these seems wrong for a fact , it feels right from the core of the soul , the quantitative measures of the moments spent with her started not impacting much , those talks about eternity , getting drenched on the grass , sudden lip locks making me believe this is what i wanted , for a long long time , probably longer than i can even remember , and may be that's why i will never be able to un-love her , this never happened , may be that's why all the little moment i get with her i want to seize them all , that makes me selfish , yet that too feels right , its just that the desire i have of being with her probably can not be compared with the amount of happiness derived to her as a result of my company , still that started not being important enough , it feels like if i was given the responsibility of sailing this whole ship to the shore all by me , i am ready to do that , she can be the waves , clouds , rains , thunderstorms , at times clearing the ocean to help me proceed , at times with her rage trying to make me stop sailing , as i promised myself , i will reach that shore , with her..
these are the things that i may have been afraid of few years back , or even now if she was someone else , but it is her and that's what makes it easy for me to commit , at least to myself , thought writing this would help , then i realized i do not need help , i am doing fine with few explosions in my brain and heart that i thought till date was unreal , see this writing is also one example of a selfish act , at one point i just thought i am writing this for myself , and now i am thinking i should show this to her , no i'm not gonna pretend that i tried to keep it secret and she looked at it forcefully because if i want to keep to myself i can , but i really don't want to. if nothing out of it she can still appreciate my writing skills , and trust me that matters, matters to me.  and may be i want her to see this because i may never be able to be this expressive while the depth of her eyes are asking me how am i doing , well this is how i am doing , but while with her i may only be able to mumble one or two stupid words like ok, fine etc . but to know that i have never been this finer before she needs to read this , she sure does. there will be desperate times , i know for a fact , but there are other things i know too , those times will need desperate measures that doesn't involves letting the clock tick and waiting for the forecast that says the storm has passed and we all can come out to look that what is left for us to live with but it involves making it through the storms and claiming everything that is our's as that will be ours forever , and if we don't try our regrets later on will provide us nothing but a deep breath and will wonder what would have happened if we haven't left each others side back then , well i am not the person who regrets , i try and try and try and proceed , and i hope she will be on board with me about this , and with all the sunrises that i may get and the dust of the evening when it sets , with the clouds when it pours and when the storm takes a tour  i will be with her ,